


Confession

by StackerPentecost



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bottom Dean, First Kiss, First Time, I Just Felt The Need to Sin, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent(Kissing), Mutual Pining, Post-Episode: s11e17 Red Meat, Rimming, this is mostly smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 12:47:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9549848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StackerPentecost/pseuds/StackerPentecost
Summary: Almost losing your brother is never easy, but for Dean Winchester it may as well be like almost losing half of his own soul. And it just happened one too many times for Dean to keep his feelings a secret.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a challenge entitled Chloe's Scenes of Smut by @casownsmyass on Tumblr. I picked the movie Deadpool but I'm not sure you can really get any sense of similarity between this and the movie. Whoops. I also apologize for the title, it could be better. You can find me @frankcastlesmuscles on Tumblr.

The door opened a crack, a thin shaft of light piercing the darkness of the room. It was the third time he’d checked in the last fifteen minutes. Every time he did, he held his breath, always expecting the worst. But Sam was still there, silently resting on the bed, eyes closed, his chest slowly rising and falling. His left hand rested on the place where the blanket covered the bullet wound he’d sustained to his abdomen, ever the weary hunter even in sleep.

  
“You can stay, I don’t mind.”

  
Dean, as battle hardened as he is, still jumps when he hears Sam’s voice, soft and raspy, thick with sleep. His eyes have opened, but only a little, looking at his brother from behind his lashes. Dean was sure Sam hadn’t heard him come and go, as he’d taken care to be as quiet as possible. He couldn’t stop pacing though, which was why he wasn’t already stationed at Sam’s bedside, not that he ever walked away for more than a few minutes. If that had been anywhere but the bunker, he’d have glued himself to Sam before he went anywhere. He took a step forward, coming into the room.

  
“I’m sorry, Sammy, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  
“Didn’t wake me, wasn’t really asleep.”

  
“What? Sammy, you gotta rest.”

  
“Then stay. And technically, I am resting.”

  
Leave it to Sam to be a smart-ass even while laid up from a gunshot. Dean hesitated but only for a moment, his desire to give his brother whatever he wanted overriding his trepidation. He took the chair from Sam’s desk and brought it to his bedside, chewing his lip as he sat down.

  
“Is there anything I can get you? Are you thirsty? I could even make you some soup, you know, like Dad used to make?”

  
“I’m okay De, I promise.” Sam only ever used that name when he was particularly afraid or out of it and Dean figured it was the latter, thanks to the assortment of pain pills his brother had taken. Still, he fidgeted, resisting the urge to jump up and do something, anything.

  
Dean Winchester rarely felt helpless but when things were like this, when Sammy was hurt and all he could do was wait by his side and watch over him while he healed, he felt pretty damn close to helpless and no gun or knife or exorcism rite would make any bit of difference.

  
Sam, sleepy and doped up as he was, easily registered his brother’s distress, his hand leaving the warmth of the comforter in favor of reaching out to take Dean’s hand, a soft smile on his lips as he laced their fingers together.

  
“I’m alive, De. I’m still here. You don’t gotta worry, I promise. Not gonna leave you.”

  
The elder Winchester’s hand began to shake, his eyes squeezing shut as if in pain. He held tightly onto Sam’s hand, hard enough to hurt. If it bothered Sam, he didn’t mention it, his smile turning slightly sad, sensing the deep emotions buried inside his brother, threatening to overwhelm him.

  
When Dean spoke, his voice trembled as much as his hand, teeth gritted as he struggled to quell his feelings.

  
“I watched you die..I watched you die, and then I had to leave you behind, Sam..I-I..” He forced in a deep breath, swallowing it down to keep back the moisture pricking at his eyes.

  
“How..How am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to live with myself? Fuck Sammy, I-I just..”

  
“It’s okay -”

  
“It’s not, Sam!” Dean immediately regretted the tone of his voice, but he couldn’t help it, he felt like he was being swept under by a sea of warring emotions, his nerves already overwrought from having witnessed what he thought was Sam’s last breath. He couldn’t take being separated his brother any longer, even the few feet between them much too far. He crawled onto the bed, being careful not to shift Sam in a way that would hurt him, pressing himself to his brother’s side, laying his head down on his chest. He needed to hear Sam’s heart beat, needed to feel him breathing, had to know he was alive. Sniffling, Dean closed his eyes, beginning to count out the beats in his head.

  
Sam’s right arm came to wrap around his brother, the other still keeping their fingers laced together against his stomach. He very much understood his brother’s pain, even in his somewhat hazy state. He had watched Dean die before and he always felt like a part of him was being ripped away. But this time was different, this time Dean had had no chance to process his emotions, no chance to breath and Sam couldn’t blame him for falling apart now.

  
“I’m here, De, I’m still here. We’re still here. That’s all that matters.”

  
Dean didn’t respond verbally, instead he lifted their hands, reverently placing kisses on Sam’s skin. The small gesture sent a pleasant shiver down Sam’s spine.

  
“You’re all I’ve got, Sammy..All that matters to me.” He murmured, carefully lifting his head so their eyes could meet.

  
“I-I didn’t want to leave you..I’d never leave you, Sammy..” He swallowed thickly, his voice coming out as barely above a whisper.

  
“I-I love you..” He leaned in close, close enough that Sam could feel the warmth of him on his lips.

  
“I love you more than anything.”

  
The first kiss was hesitant, though Sam would have never pushed Dean away. But once he realized that his affection wasn’t going to be rejected, the kisses became heated and passionate, meant to convey all the things Dean could never find the words to say. And as always, Sam knew exactly how to respond, his eyes slipping closed as they kissed in the quiet peace of the bunker.

* * *

 

When Sam woke the next morning, he felt noticeably colder than last night. He was still in the same position and his blanket remained as they were before, but it was like all the warmth had been sucked from the room. And the pain, the pain from his wound was back and in full force, a powerful throbbing sensation on his entire left side. Sam didn’t have to guess, he knew Dean was gone. But why? Sam remembered him coming into the room, breaking apart right in front of him and they laid together. The rest unfortunately was a fuzzy at best, but why would his brother just leave him like this when before he hadn’t left for more than five minutes at a time? Maybe this was one of those moments, maybe Dean just needed to stretch his legs, but Sam didn’t think so. He felt as though he’d been alone in here for quite some time.

Sighing softly, he took on the pain filled task of getting to his feet, first peeling back the blankets and then carefully sitting up so he could get his legs underneath him. Lifting his shirt, he inspected his wound, noticing that the dressing had recently been changed. He didn’t remember any of that. Nonetheless, he managed to get up without too much problem, though his progress moving forward was rather slow going. He padded quietly down the hall toward the kitchen on socked feet, still dressed in his pajamas, his stomach protesting its emptiness. As he got close he smelled the undeniable scent of freshly made coffee, bringing a smile to his lips. He found Dean with his back to him, pouring himself a mug from the steaming pot. He had showered and changed, if the robe he was wearing and his mussed, wet hair was any indication.

  
“Good morning.”

  
Dean jumped at the soft greeting. Sam was about the only person in the world that could sneak up on Dean Winchester. He turned and gave a nod to Sam before reaching for his cup.

  
“You’re up and about I see, that’s good.”

  
“Yeah, I suppose. I still hurt like a bitch though.” Sam mentally reminded himself to check in the bathroom for more painkillers. First though he came forward, wanting some coffee for himself. He opened the cupboard and reached for a clean mug, only to have Dean do the same thing, their knuckles brushing. Sam simply smiled, but it faltered when he saw how his brother recoiled, as though he’d been burned.

  
“Are you alright?” He asked, his confusion clear on his face. Dean immediately put on a smile.

  
“What? Of course I am, why do you ask?”

  
Though he knew he was lying, Sam didn’t push the issue, deciding to brush it off for now. He poured himself some coffee and began to add sugar and cream, not noticing the way his brother was fidgeting next to him.

  
“Sam?”

  
He looked up, taking a sip from his mug, “Hm?”

  
“What do you remember…from last night?”

  
Sam blinked, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

  
“Please, just tell me what you remember.”

  
His eyes narrowed, but he answered Dean anyway.

  
“I remember you weren’t feeling too great. You uh, you crawled in bed with me. That’s about it, I think I fell asleep after that.”

  
Dean let out a noticeable sigh of relief, which only served to confuse his brother even more.

  
“Dean, what’s going on with you?”

  
“Nothing Sammy, I promise.” Dean offered him another forced smile. “Really, don’t worry.”

  
Despite his unease and suspicions, Sam was too tired and pained at the moment to get the truth out of his brother, reluctantly accepting his excuses in favor of drinking his coffee. Dean took that moment to escape, unable to be in the same room as Sam after what had happened between them. If he found out about what Dean had confessed, that they had kissed, Sam would never speak to him again and Dean just couldn’t handle that, couldn’t lose the most important person in his life. So he would mind what he said and keep what had happened close to his heart. His brother would never find out and everything would go back to normal. That is, if the aching in his chest and the want deep in his bones didn’t kill him first.

* * *

 

Sam grew stronger over the coming days, his wound healing slowly but surely. But it seemed that the more days passed, the more distant and cold Dean became. At first it was just the way he talked, like he was stepping on eggshells every time they spoke. Then he didn’t even want to speak at all, which Sam could handle, the Winchester boys had grown to communicate a lot without words over the years, but it was like Dean was putting up a wall between them. Sam hated it, hated feeling like a stranger with the person who he cared about most in the world, and it only seemed to keep getting worse.

  
The next morning, Sam hesitated only briefly before he cornered his brother on his way out of the kitchen. Placing himself in front of the exit, Sam made sure Dean was forced to face him.

  
“What the hell Sam, get out of the way!”

  
“No, you are not getting out of this, we are going to talk.”

  
Dean gave his brother an exasperated look.

  
“There isn’t anything to talk about.”

  
“Please stop lying to me. It’s not making this any easier. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  
“For the last time Sam, there is nothing going on! Literally everything is fine! So would you just move, okay?!”

  
Sam couldn’t help the look of hurt that crossed his features. He was quiet for a long moment before speaking again, his voice falling to a whisper.

  
“I’m sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry. Please Dean, talk to me, I’m going insane without you..”

  
Dean went to step past Sam, only to stop himself, unable to just walk out on his brother like that. He swallowed thickly, hating the way Sam’s shoulders had slumped in defeat, like he was expecting to be left alone again.

  
“..You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  
“What? But you-”

  
“I know, I know, what I’ve been doing, but it’s not because of you, it’s because of me. I screwed up and thought it was better if I just left you alone.”

  
“Why would you think that? You haven’t even done anything Dean-”

  
“Yes I have! You just don’t remember it!”

  
That took Sam by surprise. His first thought was that somehow a monster or a witch had made him forget something crucial, but that didn’t seem right. They hadn’t been on a hunt together since he’d been shot and as far as he knew, Dean hadn’t gone on one by himself. So what could have messed with his memory? He looked to Dean for an explanation.

  
The older Winchester refused to meet his gaze, shifting from foot to foot like this whole thing made him want to up and disappear.

  
“Dean, what-”

  
“I kissed you.” Dean’s voice came out shaky, totally not the strong, even tone he’d been going for.

  
“Fuck, I kissed you while you were on your painkillers. That night where I came into your room and laid with you, that’s what happened, the meds must’ve made you forget.” He shook his head, clearly angry with himself. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me, Sam, but something is definitely wrong with me.”

  
Sam didn’t have the words to describe the feeling that washed over him. Perhaps it was relief in the fact that despite all the years he’d spent thinking otherwise, Dean did feel the same way about him. Maybe it was adrenaline, excitement stirring his heart in a way that only his brother could. Or maybe it was a mixture of both, along with so many other things that he would need to process in time. But right then there was only one thing clear in his mind.

  
Without a word he took Dean by the shoulders and pinned him against the nearest wall, breath already running heavy as he pressed their lips together.

  
Sam didn’t have to explain. Just like they did so often, the boys communicated without words, reading each other’s language through their actions. In moments Dean knew Sam didn’t blame him for their previous kiss, that he was aware Dean would never try to take advantage of him. It was now also abundantly clear that they shared the same feelings like they shared everything else. One kiss turned into two and two multiplied into four, and before they even realized it lips had given way to tongue and teeth and so much more. Dean’s calloused hands found their way under Sam’s shirt, careful to not put too much pressure on his wound in case it still hurt, enjoying the feeling of his brother’s skin under his touch. A chill ran down the younger Winchester’s spine, causing him to break their kiss, but not drifting far, his breath still ghosting over Dean’s lips.

  
“I need you.”

  
“God, I need you too.”

  
They traded more kisses as they made their way to Dean’s bedroom, which was chosen upon Sam’s insistence. Despite his brother’s pleas to make up for all the grief he’d caused them over the past week, Sam wanted to treat Dean, who was always trying so hard to be the perfect brother and hunter.

  
They managed to get inside and get the door closed before Sam had Dean pinned to the wall again, using his strength to lift his brother’s feet from the floor and hook his legs around his waist.

  
They rutted together, clothed arousal growing harder as Sam worshiped Dean’s neck with his lips. Kisses and licks became love bites and hickeys, unable to keep himself from leaving marks that claimed Dean as his own.

  
“Sammy..” Dean moaned, his breath coming out in heavy pants, his hands curling in his brother’s hair, “Fuck, don’t tease me.”

  
Sam let out a breathless chuckle, hands going to squeeze Dean’s ass through his jeans. “Says the one who keeps moaning like a whore.”

  
Dean let out a slight yelp, but didn’t protest further, instead pulling his brother up for another kiss.

  
Sam took this moment to carry him over to the bed, laying him back against the pillows. His brother was quite the sight, hair mussed, lips red and swollen, a pretty blush starting in his cheeks and leading down his neck and to his chest.

  
“The hell you lookin’ at?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

  
Sam smiled. “Just you, so damn beautiful.”

  
Dean made what Sam recognized as a pout, “Shuddup and get over here.”

  
Sam came forward, slipping off his shirt as he straddled Dean’s waist. Eager hands explored Sam’s impressive build as they continued to kiss and soon Dean found his shirt coming off too. He wasn’t as fit as his brother, but Sam didn’t care, loving that Dean had a little bit of softness in his belly. It was how he had always been and Sam hoped it stayed that way.

  
He turned his attention to Dean’s nipples, using his tongue to swirl around the sensitive buds, pleased when they hardened beneath his touch.

  
Above him, Dean’s panting has returned, punctuated by soft, breathy moans. Sure, he’d played with his nipples once or twice, but it was like Sam was working magic with his mouth, every brush of his tongue sending sparks across his skin. A whine escaped him when he pulled away.

  
Sam kissed down Dean’s chest, leaving his brother in anticipation until he finally reached his pants. Again, without words, Dean gave his permission, allowing Sam to tug down both his jeans and underwear.

  
The sight before him makes Sam’s mouth water. Dean’s cock isn’t as long as his but damn is it close and he’s thick as fuck, the head already beginning to drip precome. Sam had to resist the urge to deep-throat him right there.

  
Instead he took his time, nosing at Dean’s balls, his tongue darting out to tease them. He planted wet kisses from root to tip before finally slipping the head into his mouth, unable to fight the groan that he made.

  
Dean was pleasantly surprised to find that Sam was rather skilled at this, sucking eagerly as his tongue worked the underside. His head fell back, hand going to Sam’s hair once again.

  
“Fuck, Sammy..Always thought you had such a pretty mouth.”

  
Sam soaked up the praise, every sweet word from Dean urging him on, his own cock throbbing inside his jeans. He reached between his legs, grinding against his hand, eyes lifting to watch his brother moan.

  
“Sam-Sam..fuck, let me see you. Gotta see that cock, know you’re fucking huge.”

  
Only then did Sam pull off his cock with a pop, a smile coming to his plush red mouth. He came up to his knees, putting on a little bit of a show as he slid his hands down his chest, slowly unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them off. He massaged the obvious bulge in his boxers, grinning wider as Dean’s eyes followed his every move. Finally, he slipped his fingers in the waistband and tugged the fabric off, revealing his flushed member, long and hard and aching so much already.

  
“Damn baby..” Dean was staring, unable to do anything else. He sat up and came to meet his brother, groaning as their slick cocks brushed together. He was almost a little envious, reaching to grip them both, stroking them wetly. Sam bit back a moan, pulling Dean in for a kiss.

  
“Now on your back for me?”

  
Dean obeyed, for once content to let someone else take control. He turned, lying down on his belly, looking over his shoulder at Sam. He knew that look in his eyes, his baby brother had something in mind.

  
Calloused hands ran over his back and slid a pillow under his hips, guiding him until his ass was in the air. Dean still wasn’t quite sure where Sam was going with this but he trusted him with everything he had, so he remained still, laying his head down on the bed.

  
Behind him, Sam made himself comfortable, settling between Dean’s spread thighs once again. It was a lovely view, Dean’s pert ass on display just for him.

  
“Beautiful as hell.” He purred, reaching to massage Dean’s cheeks, nipping at the soft mounds.

  
His brother shifted beneath his touch, clearly ready for whatever Sam had in mind.

  
Dean jolted when he felt warm breath on his hole, biting his lip as he looked back at Sam.

  
“You’re not gonna really do that..are you?”

  
“Hell yes I am.”

  
Before Dean could get another word in, Sam had plunged his tongue in deep, not holding anything back as he began to lick and suck.  
Dean cried out loudly, hands gripping the sheets in tight fists.

  
“H-Holy shit, Sam..”

  
Dean had always been a little turned off by the idea of being rimmed, but now that Sam was tongue deep in his ass, he was beginning to change his mind. Once again Sam knew Dean almost better than Dean knew himself.

  
Using his thumbs to spread Dean’s entrance, Sam sucked at the rim before delving deeper, making sure to get his brother nice and wet. Beneath him, Dean writhed and moaned, burying his face in the pillows. Every sound was like music to Sam’s ears, a deep sense of pleasure coursing through him at the knowledge that he was the only person Dean would allow to do this. And damn was his brother beautiful, all spread out for Sam to see, face flushed, cock leaking against his belly.

  
With Dean’s taste still on his tongue, he pulled back to wet two fingers, watching the way Dean’s hole welcomed the intrusion, drawing out yet another moan.

  
Sam didn’t waste time in diving back in, lapping around the digits as he fucked them in and out, shivering at the near sobs Dean began to make, his thighs beginning to quiver.

  
“Sam! I-I can’t - you gotta fuck me, please! Sammy please!”

  
As much as Sam loved hearing Dean beg for his cock, he relented, rising up to slide his cock between his cheeks, spreading precome all over Dean’s hole.

  
“On your back, De. Wanna see your face when I’m inside you.”

  
Dean shivered and turned over, reaching to pull Sam forward by his hips. He then reached into the bedside drawer, producing a bottle of lube. Sam thoroughly coated both his dick and Dean’s ass before tossing it aside.

  
“I can’t tell you how much I want this, how much I want you.”

  
Sam just smiled. “I know. You don’t have to, I already know.”

  
They shared another kiss, swallowing each other’s moans as Sam smoothly slid his cock into Dean’s hole, not stopping until they were pressed flush together.

  
“Dean, you’re-oh fuck, goddamn you’re tight.”

  
Beneath him, Dean could barely breath, overwhelmed by the pleasure-pain of being so utterly full. Sam did his best to stay relatively still, not wanting to cause him any undue pain, kissing his neck as he waited for permission to continue.

  
Dean lifted his eyes to Sam’s, giving a faint nod, moaning softly as Sam slowly pulled out and thrust back in. It wasn’t entirely what he expected, but Dean quickly found himself beginning to enjoy it, reaching to wrap his arms around Sam’s shoulders. Lifting his head, he moaned at the sight of Sam’s huge cock disappearing inside him.

  
“God, Sammy-fuck me harder, want to feel you for days!”

  
The sounds that began to fill the room were obscene, skin on skin as the two brothers, as always, moved in sync.

  
Pressed between them, Dean’s cock was dripping more and more as he was pushed closer to the edge.

  
Nipping at Sam’s lips, Dean lifted his hips to meet every thrust, gritting out, “If I asked, would you let me ride you?”

  
Sam felt his dick twitch at the idea. “You don’t even have to ask.”

  
He turned them over, so he was now laying back on the pillows, his cock still deep inside his brother. He steadied Dean with his hands, more than happy to guide him into the right motion. But Dean didn’t need any help, soon bouncing up and down on Sam’s dick like he belonged there.

  
“Gonna come, Sammy! Gonna come all over your cock!”

 

Sam thrust his hips up, meeting Dean every single time.

  
“Come for me De, come for me so I can come inside you!”

  
Within moments Dean was coming hard, painting white all over Sam’s chest, nearly doubling over as he rode his orgasm. Sam soon followed, calling out Dean’s name as he spilled deep inside him.

It took a while for both of them to come down from their highs. By then Dean was laying on Sam’s chest, burying his face in his neck. Sam absentmindedly stroked Dean’s hair, which was beyond tousled by now.

  
“Sammy..?” Dean’s voice was quiet, but content nonetheless.

  
“Hm?”

  
He was quiet for a moment. “I love you.”

  
Sam smiled softly. “I know.”


End file.
